Adulting is hard

Remember that stuff I wasn’t supposed to think about…? Well, I’m thinking about it.

A couple weeks ago, early in the program, I made a post about all the stuff I probably shouldn’t be worrying about yet. And a few posts ago, I started tentatively planning for the future. Well, apparently… I should have been worrying (or at least actively thinking) about all those things and vigorously planning for the future.

We didn’t jump right into the book stuff yesterday, as I’d thought we would (which was frustrating given the assignments we have now, but I’ll get into that later). Instead, it was “Career Day.” There were a couple panels: one of four HR managers and Talent Acquisition -ists (Simon & Schuster, Hearst Magazine, Twitter, Hachette), and the other was of SPI Alumni (seven who’d taken the course last year, who talked about the program, the job hunt, the apartment search, and what they do now.

The entire day was pretty helpful, except for the fact that now I’m really seriously torn about what to do. I started to realize a few weeks ago (about the time I started worrying about this sort of stuff) that trying to find a place to live and a job wasn’t exactly the easiest thing to do from 1800 miles away in Montana, where I would also be working and have other responsibilities. It’s not impossible, but it’s definitely a lot more stressful. House (Apartment) hunting is something I absolutely despise, and I prefer, heavily, to do it in person. To get a sense of the place, the neighborhood, etc. Job hunting also is much easier while in the city you’re looking for jobs. Employers have questions when it comes to things like “why is your address in _____, this job is in ______”. I get it. But in terms of the job search, I’m absolutely terrified that if I’m not actually here in New York (where most of the publishing jobs/roles are available), I won’t actually get a job doing what I want to do?

So, I thought a lot about it since yesterday afternoon, and I’ve talked to a few people, and I plan to keep thinking about things, but here’s what the situation is at the moment and what the options are as I see them.

  • I have flights back to Montana for the 16th – I may or may not take them, depending on 1) whether or not I find a place to live and 2) if I get a job or not.
  • There are dozens of job postings going up, several of which I’ve looked into and intend to apply to (after my resume review on Wednesday).
  • Until then, I’m looking into different imprints and companies and finding specifics about them that appeal to me so I have a better sense of direction.
  • Several of us from the program are going tentative apartment hunting next weekend. I’ll keep looking online during the week too though.
  • I’m also going to have some really serious conversations with people about rooming together, as well as with my parents and the other adults in my life about the actual feasibility of my making the jump to New York entirely in… 4 weeks. Why is that thought so terrifying????
  • I may or may not extend my NYU housing through the end of July. I think this will depend on how initial rounds of apartment hunting go in addition to the job hunt. I will decide on whether I’m extending housing or not by the last week of the program, and apply on July 5th.
  • If that does not work out, I will look into Airbnb options, and/or crashing on friends’ couches until I find something – maybe?

Other options:

  • Return home via my original tickets on July 16th. 
  • Return to work at YTI for an undefined period of time. 
  • Apply for jobs when I feel I’m ready to move to wherever it is I’m applying to go, if and only if I actually get th job, whilst being 1800+ miles away.

I will have lots of conversations to be had with people. Namely my parents, my boss and co-workers back home, my friends, and several of the people here in New York that I know and feel comfortable potentially living with in the near/distance future. I also have a lot of legwork to do regarding job and apartment hunting. Research to be done, resume and cover letters to revamp (ughhhhh), and a lot of hard decisions to make.
The good news? I have a good support system. The bad news? I have terrible anxiety that I need to work through before I actually get anything done. Ugh, being an adult is hard 😦


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